Introduction to Vulnerability in Leadership

Vulnerability in leadership is often misunderstood, yet it holds the key to fostering authentic connections and driving meaningful change within teams. Let me ask you a question, if I may. I’m curious to understand, what the word vulnerability brings to mind for you?  Make a mental note of the words that come to mind. Then check to see whether any of those words are associated with being weak, perhaps, or in a fearful, uncomfortable position mentally or emotionally?

Dr. Brené Brown’s Insight on Vulnerability

Dr Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston and author of “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,” emphasizes that vulnerability is not weakness but rather “our most accurate measurement of courage”. In 2010, she delivered a TED Talk called ‘The Power of Vulnerability’, which went on to become one of the most watched TED Talks of all time, amassing views currently at over 64 million.

Dr. Brené Brown delivering her groundbreaking TED Talk on vulnerability in leadership, inspiring millions to embrace courage and authenticity. Image: TEDTalk

The Wholehearted Approach

Dr Brown had spent over 6 years carrying out qualitative research and was keen to share her findings with us. She talks about how the fear of disconnection that people can harbour links to feeling ashamed.  The kind of shame she suggests, is linked to a sense of being ‘not good enough’. She suggests that this is underpinned by another more buried aspect of the psyche and that is a deep sense of vulnerability.  Being afraid to ‘just be ourselves’.

As she progressed with her research, she saw on the other hand, evidence showed that those among us who live with a sense of worthiness, feel deserving of love and connection. She calls these people the ‘wholehearted’.

Traits of the Wholehearted

Through her research she found that the common traits of the wholehearted include courage, compassion, creativity, treating themselves and others kindly. Ultimately she found that they had a sense of connection, meaning and purpose through expressing their authentic selves in all areas of life.

The Impact of Numbing Vulnerability

There is a line in her talk where she goes on to say that these people “Ultimately believed that what made them vulnerable, made them beautiful.”  

But what happens with this sense of vulnerability for those other than the ‘wholehearted’?  She suggests that a lot of people ‘numb’ it out, pointing out that currently in the U.S. exists the most medicated, obese, in debt and addicted cohort in history. Ever!  

When we numb our sense of vulnerability such as grief, shame, fear, disappointment, unfortunately we also numb the joy, the happiness and the gratitude. It is impossible to numb just the negative feelings, because when we numb those, we numb everything else. And where does that leave us? Feeling continually miserable and lost, thus reaching for whatever it is that we do to numb out the unpleasant feelings in the first place, and so the cycle continues.

Embracing Authenticity and Kindness

To let ourselves be deeply seen and to love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee, is painful and difficult for most of us. Instead, Dr Brown asks, what if we could experience the sheer exhilaration of being alive in those moments? Essentially, her message is that when we know deeply that we are ‘enough’, then we are kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we are kinder and gentler to ourselves. Dr Brown’s work on vulnerability, resilience and embracing change has been practiced in industry by such giants as Microsoft, Facebook, Zappos and the US military.

Starting Your Journey to Authentic Leadership

Where to start in becoming our most authentic selves? Perhaps if you hear the voice of self-doubt crank up in your head today, you could try saying to yourself instead, “Thank you, but not today”. “Today, I am choosing to be kind to myself, and others.  Instead of scaring myself with my thoughts, I will quietly remind myself, that I am enough”. Any shift in consciousness within a team, organisation, family unit or relationship of any kind, must firstly begin within each one of us. The good news is that we are each capable of change, with enough willingness and a sprinkling of hope.

Contact me at denise@obrienlearningsolutions.ie or book a call to talk about how to introduce a vulnerability-based leadership programme within your organisation.